self-discovery
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London Leather: Epilogue and Afterglow
After the Leather Social, Cicero and I were both very tired and went straight to bed.…
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London Leather 3: Kink, Calm, and Keeping My Dad From Panic
Continuing my adventures at the London Leather Weekend… Content note: This post includes kink, BDSM dynamics,…
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London Leather 2: Bears, Brothers, and the Texture of Desire
Following on from London Leather 1… Content note: This post includes kink, BDSM dynamics, and sexual…
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London Leather Day 1: A Collar, a Club, and a Very Bad Beer
I am off to London to spend another fun weekend with Cicero! The dog has been…
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Starting to map the marriage
The first thing I did when Richard (my counsellor) arrived was apologise for breaching his privacy…
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Swiping across boundaries
In a bored moment, I was on one of the gay dating apps idly swiping through…
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“A Previous Life”: Reading Edmund White in the Midst of My Own Ending
This is a posthumous novel; I don’t know how much are Edmund’s own words and what…
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The Tears Are Not Ready
Things are getting deeper in counselling. Tonight we started talking about history, because I said that…
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Waking Next to Absence
I had a friend over last night. Originally, he was going to come over and we’d…
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The lure of gendering
While I was reading Ben Pechey’s “Book of Non-Binary Joy”, I found that I was trying…
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Weekend of Faces
What a busy weekend! Full of socialising… and I am pooped now! Friday was cinema night…
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Letting the grief breathe
I was thinking of bringing my counselling to an end. Things are peaceful in the house,…
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The abdication of home
Having the house to myself has left me realising just how detached I was from the…
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He’s Not A Patient; He’s A Very Naughty Boy
Yay! Counselling! Who looks forward to their counselling session? I do! It had been a busy…
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Two Weeks On: Sex, Toys, and Heartbeats
Two weeks after my heart attack, I’m learning that curiosity beats fear — even when it…