I struggle to get up in the morning, but when I go downstairs the dog is pleased to see me. In so many ways dogs are better than people: if they aren’t pleased to see their mummy or daddy, then they are ill and need looking after. Puppy love is the simplest and most innocent.

I put the kettle on and make coffee. While it’s brewing, I let the dog into the garden for a wee, then make her breakfast and my breakfast, and pour my coffee.

If the weather is nice, I might sit in the garden and drink my coffee and watch the fish. Otherwise, I doomscroll for a while, until the coffee is drunk and breakfast eaten.

It’s funny how quickly most things become routine. You imagine big changes in life will feel like big changes every day. They don’t. They mostly turn into kettles, inboxes, and dog walks.

Once I have my breakfast inside me, I’ll take my morning pills. I might include PrEP if I’m feeling lucky.

I’ll visit the loo, brush my teeth, then shower.

After dressing, I’ll take the doggy for her morning constitutional. I started doing that when the drain problems began and now she’s used to it and I have to do it all the time now.

If I’m going to the office, she’ll get a treat and a cuddle before goodbye. Otherwise, I’ll turn on the laptop before I walk her and it’ll be ready by the time I get back from her walk.

I make another coffee, log in, and start the day.

Mornings are mostly meetings. I’ll have a 1-2-1 with a member of my team, checking on any problems they have and giving them support and feedback.

Then it will be the team meeting, a sitting down stand-up. I play a game where the last person to join has to give the first update, then they have to nominate the next person to speak. The last people to speak have to remember who has gone before them.

There will be other meetings in the morning with other teams, or team leads, or with the business analysts.

I always take a lunch break, usually about twelve-thirty. I go through phases of the foods I eat. The last phase was months of instant noodles. I get very irritable if people book meetings across lunchtime … and sometimes in a pique of passive-aggressive angst, I will simply not turn up. “I’m sorry, I was AT LUNCH and didn’t see the reminder.”

In the summer, if I’m working from home, I might sunbathe in the garden for an hour. Fridays I might walk up to the high street for something a bit more interesting to eat.

By this point in the day, nothing really feels like it’s about anything in particular. It’s just what the day contains.

If I’m lucky, after lunch I will get some quiet for coding. The breakdown of the day is unfortunate because I tend to do my best work in the mornings. All too often there are meetings in the afternoon, which can really ruin my productivity.

At about five, the dog comes and tells me it’s time to finish.

I might start a job – probably some DIY. The house has so much that needs doing on it – it can feel overwhelming at times. All I can do is nibble at it.

At around six, I’ll feed and walk the dog. In the evenings she gets a long walk. I aim to get my steps up to 6000 by the time we get back home.

Once home, I’ll have my tea, take a bucket load of heart medication, then I might do a little more DIY.

By seven or eight in the evening, I am in my dressing gown and wearing my glasses. I usually wear contact lenses during the day. I feel ugly in glasses; being short sighted they make my eyes look very small and piggy.

I’ll read for an hour, then I’ll make a small drink and some biccies, and put some TV on. At this time the dog will join me on the sofa for an hour or so.

At ten, I’ll let the dog out, give her a treat, and then go and brush my teeth. I’ll read for maybe thirty minutes before turning out the light and going to sleep.

And have you noticed that in all this day my lack of testicles hasn’t come up once?