Continuing my adventures at the London Leather Weekend…

Content note: This post includes kink, BDSM dynamics, and sexual themes (non-graphic).

Once the three of us woke, Cicero again made coffee. We ate chocolate bars for breakfast, then engaged in a sort of sexy triskelion. Another first.

It was another lazy day, watching American Horror, lounging on the sofa, and just being. Caressing and cuddling. That is what heaven must be like.

For the evening, Cicero planned for he and I to go to the Leather Social in Clapham. Star wouldn’t be able to come, but he did join us for pizza in Woolwich – my treat saying thank you to them both. So what if I can’t tell the difference between gratitude and love? they are both amazing feelings and maybe I don’t need to overthink them to death.

It was an easy ride from Woolwich to Clapham. There was a shop right next door to the venue that I wanted to visit: Fetch!

Fetch is a gay kink and fetish shop, selling the usual party underwear, harnesses, tops, butt-plugs, and other sex toys. It also sells puppy hoods! I had a good look round and decided to buy some socks and a pair of leatherette shorts with pink piping. I also wanted to try a pair of leather backless briefs – sadly, without testicles they were not comfortable. Buying comfortable underwear for the detesticulated is a problem.

Cicero also couldn’t avoid buying some toys while we were there. Dildo sizes can be quite terrifying … I wonder who he had in mind?!

I must say, if you’ve not gathered already, that Cicero is the most calming person to be around. I feel completely safe with him – emotionally and physically.

Thinking about feeling calm, the Leather weekend doesn’t appear to challenge my social battery – it’s like I’m somehow more real – despite the crazy levels of stimulation. I’m not aware of stimming to the same level as my previous visit to see Cicero. What is it about the leather community that feels safe?

Maybe it is the large number of neurodiverse in the community. I talked to an autistic guy outside for a bit. Then inside, while I was feeling (I confess) a little bit hyper, a towering Dom told me that he understood as he himself was ADHD. He also thought that for some leather was an armour and the machismo was false. I think there is some element of performance for some people, but for others this is actually their natural habitat: the day job exists just to fund living life.

In an abrupt change of mood, I noticed my phone ringing. It was my dad!

Normally, I call him before midday on a Sunday. but I was out with friends (and Sunday morning I was cosied up in bed with a couple of gorgeous guys), so I hadn’t called him. That in itself isn’t a problem. What was a problem was that I hadn’t told him that I was spending the weekend away!

Normally he wouldn’t worry too much … but that was before I had a heart attack twelve weeks ago: the poor guy was going out of his mind!

I was an inconsiderate idiot!

My focus had actually been protecting my husband’s feelings by making sure that he didn’t know about my trip to London because I was certain that it would upset him. I’d put the dog in kennels – it wouldn’t have felt right to have asked him to look after her while I was off having fun.

Dad can seem so wrapped up in his own world, that it can leave my brother and me feeling – unnecessary. I really didn’t expect him to worry so.

But, my dad, in his fear, had called my husband, who worked out where I was. His messages were short and to the point. yep, he was hurting. At the time I thought he was guilt-tripping me, but I re-read them and I don’t get that sense.

Once dad and the ex were sorted, I was able to rejoin the social.

The Leather Community is both an arena for kink and sex, but its also a family – from what I could see, it offers unconditional love to its members. It is supportive. It is safe. It is a place where people can be their truest self.

It is an extended family of choice – and I have begun to understand just how magical such a family can be.

This is what I want for myself.