I went to Winchester yesterday. The days after Christmas, churches seem to take a break and I have discovered that cathedrals tend to remain open.
Why do I want a church?
Simple. On the anniversary of my mum’s passing, I like to light a candle and sit in quiet thought. I’m not sad, as such, I’m not in grief really. But I need these rituals to keep that connection.
Winchester is a pretty city, with a thriving old fashioned centre, and an ancient cathedral.
If I were sight seeing, they’d want to charge me, but you can always go into a church for prayer free.
I found a candle stand and lit a candle and left a donation and a card with just a few words on it: “I miss you mum x”.
Then in went into a small side chapel and sat on the floor.
I seem to like sitting on the floor; the mental health nurse thinks that it’s a spiritual thing to do, to create that connection with the earth. There may be something to that. I certainly like to feel grounded when I’m handling emotional stuff.
I sat there for an hour. Just thinking random stuff about life, the things that interest me, my marriage, my family, my husband, and my mum and nan.
Afterwards, I left the cathedral and walked back into the city and wandered up and down the high street enjoying the interesting things going on. And thinking “mum would have loved coming here”.
In May, I’ll be running in another half marathon, twenty years after I started running – and I started running to celebrate mum’s recovery from cancer. This time I run to help others recover from cancer – that thief of time.
Eunuchorn 
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