I had another rough night’s sleep and was awake at 2am feeling very anxious and wishing that is brought my beta blockers (I didn’t because I was afraid of US customs and if thrown away the prescription slip). I popped another of my over the counter sleepers and managed to go back off – in total I got 7 hours
Mornings here is February are cold, even though the day itself is pleasantly warm (shorts weather – a massive treat for an Englishman in the winter!); I wish I’d brought a dressing gown!
Another day and another weird yet tasty breakfast! Do not judge them by looks! Also, they don’t seem to bring knives, possibly they are afraid of a coup by hormone starved transsexuals.
By the way, if you smoke, bring patches! You can buy cigarettes, but in my wanderings yesterday I didn’t see anybody smoking in the street. That correlates with my husband’s researches: the laws against smoking in Mexico are quite strict.
My pre-op is arranged for 8am tomorrow morning (local time); there’ll be an ECG an hour later. My operation might be later that day, or the day after: the doctor will decide when he arrives on Monday!
Marla says that there will be 2 now like me arriving on Monday, and another 4 on Tuesday. I feel a little nervous to meet them! I haver never actually (or knowingly) met somebody like me.
I really hope that it’s sooner!
My anxiety ebbs and flows all morning. It’s just there. Not even sure what it’s about really. A friend has reassured me that it’s completely natural and normal to feel anxious, which helps to be told by one who had been through it. He said he felt the same before his orchidectomy. It hasn’t put him off: he is now planning to finish the job and have a scrotectomy! I feel really excited for him because the empty sack feels uncomfortable and the job of castration doesn’t quite feel complete to him.
The drive to Rosarito was great, lots of street art. I had the range from driver as yesterday, a chap called Felipe, he had this awesome ratio station on which plays all the music that was in the clubs when I came out as gay nearly 30 years ago! As I write, I have just stopped singing along to Gina G “Just a Little Bit”! Gina also played on the way back to the recovery centre. Fancy Gina G being so well known in Mexico! It was only after she started ooh-ahing for the third time did I realise that this was Felipe’s own playlist on his phone. He jumped a couple of notches in my estimation for his capital good taste in music!
Getting out of Tijuana was a white knuckle ride though. Lane discipline isn’t something that bothered Felipe. I’m also accustomed to driving in the left hand side if the road, so it’s a bit unnerving. Many cars have dents and dings. Felipe’s does. I feel safe enough with him though – he is a lovely chap.
The beach is beautiful soft sand that glitters as though it has gold in it in places. Clearly this isn’t gold, because somebody would have carted off the beach by now.
A typical Englisher, I take my shoes and socks off and walk straight into the water up to my knees. The water is clear and cold, the waves crest white and the white noise of their breaking drowns out the noise of the bars that run along the beach. It’s a little windy, which makes the walk rather bracing; I am only in sorts and t shirt still. Families are set up with beach umbrellas. I walk for an hour with my feet in the water just existing in the moment. I pick up interesting shells and pop them in my bag. There are waders with long beaks doing their thing. I find the sea immensely powerful and peaceful. It is a pacific ocean.
There are horses on the beach and a pier. I had a cup of tea and a piece of cake on the pier and thought of my mum and my nan. I love my funny family traditions.
For lunch I stop at one of those bars on the beach: this is the sea side and I want the equivalent of fish and chips. The chips here are nachos, tasty and crispy. The fish is served with it’s golden skin crunchy. It is also served with it’s head on. I am not one to be put off. The biggest are large and easy to find. It was a delicious piece of fish!
A bloody mariachi band has just struck up behind me! Fabulous!
People keep coming up to sell me friendship bands, or ponchos, or sunglasses.
That’s it for today! Tomorrow is my pre-op … and maybe the big snip!
Eunuchorn 
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