In a bored moment, I was on one of the gay dating apps idly swiping through “matches”. Too young, swipe left, etc.

Then a nice face appears.

“Isn’t that my counsellor?” I ask myself.

Before I had time to think about it and such questions as “boundaries”, I am looking at his profile in more detail.

Seconds later I am “Fuck! What am I doing?!” and backed away.

I hesitated.

He will get a notification that somebody looked at his profile, and he will know who it is.

For a second, I thought to “woof” or swipe right, but thought better of it and swiped left.

A secret I’ll share here is that I do find him rather hot – but I value him as a counsellor too much to risk muddying the waters with getting emotionally attached to him. Firstly, he listens to me (albeit that what he’s paid to do), but he is physically right for me, being taller and more heavy-set than I am.

Falling for your counsellor is such an old trope, but I have never been tempted before … maybe that was the one advantage of being counselled by older straight women!

I will have to apologise when I see him and just pray that this doesn’t affect our working relationship – that it might is greatly playing on my mind now and kept me awake last night: I am very much afraid that he might feel that his privacy has been invaded and say that he can no longer counsel me.

Often II find boundaries difficult unless explicitly stated; this one wasn’t but I feel that I have crossed a line – I just hope that it doesn’t compromise anything.