Last week I had an email informing me that my husband was starting divorce proceedings against me.

That was a surprise, let me tell you! You don’t expect to get an email out of the blue about such things. Or maybe you do.

Later on that week, when I took some medicine over to him, he asked me to pay half of the fees, which will be £550.

Today I received the paper version of the email I received last week.

Its funny how the physical embodiment of the process has had a much deeper emotional impact on me than either the email – or even talking about it with my husband.

Why is that?

Something he would do when I said something that he found upsetting was he’d punch himself on his breastbone as though he were being stabbed to symbolise the emotional impact. I found that irritating because often I just wouldn’t get why it was upsetting for him.

Today I felt that same stab in my chest that he enacts.

It hurts.