Since living on my own, I’ve felt free to spend time on things I enjoy – reading and piano, of course – but also my TV obsessions.

I watched the original series of Star Trek on Netflix again. Star Trek, especially the Next Generation, has been an obsession since my teens.

Star Wars has been an obsession even longer. I was three in 1977 when Episode IV came out. My mum and dad bought me the toys every birthday and Christmas – and the original movies were on TV every bank holiday for years: I would watch them religiously.

I have started watching the Mandalorian – everybody has been telling me how good it is, but since my husband hates Star Wars, there was no point splashing out on Disney for it. I love it!

My evenings have a comfortable pattern to them:

I watch the Last Airbender cartoon on Netflix while I eat my tea.

Then I take the dog for a walk.

When we get home, I practice the piano for anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour.

Afterwards, I read for an hour or so. Usually, this will be something more serious, either a “heavy” fiction book, or nonfiction – something that gives my brain a workout!

Then it’s Star Wars time! As I said, right now it’s the Mandalorian, but the next one I’m looking forward to is Obi Wan.

To finish my TV watching for the evening, an episode of Big Bang Theory. Something that makes me laugh to relax me.

Then it’s up to bed – brush and floss my teeth, then read for anywhere from ten to thirty minutes. Nighttime reading is usually a novel, often a children’s book or fantasy – nothing too stimulating!

I don’t need to do all of this every night, and I had started incorporating elements of this routine when I was still with my husband. And I can vary this routine if I need to. He hated routine, but stopped being quite so opposed to me having a routine when I was able to explain how it helped me.

Having routine soothes my brain and calms my soul. Spending time on things I enjoy enriches my mind and replenishes my soul.

Living alone, there is also the advantage of being better able to chat with and see friends.

I can’t honestly say whether my husband has been jealous of my friendships in the past, but that’s the way it felt to me. I never felt able to balance his needs against my needs for friendship. I’m afraid that I did feel resentful because of that from time to time. I also ended up with fewer friends.

What do I need from friends that I couldn’t get from my husband? I have already mentioned that our TV viewing tastes were different (at least, I have mentioned my tastes – his are more reality TV and soaps). I like to read, he doesn’t enjoy it. I like to go places, his desire to go out is changeable. And with the chaos and stress of living with him, I needed people who were stress free to spend time with (and have a moan at).

Whilst I can find socialising draining and need recovery time afterwards, I also need people. How much time is required to recover depends on how many and with whom I have spent time. The best types of people restore my spirits: I have more energy after spending time with them.

I’ve come to see that solitude doesn’t mean loneliness – but it does make me question how much space I have for someone else in my life. Sometimes I wonder if I’m simply wired for solitude more than for partnership. Quite simply: I would drive them nuts!