The reason so many people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.

Paul Fix

This blog started as a place for me to explore my deep longing for castration, then it became a diary of my journey to surgery and my journey of self-discovery and acceptance. As I wrote, I realised that some of what I wrote might be useful to others – breadcrumbs through a medical and mental maze towards actualising the correct bodily configuration for the soul within it.

In so doing, I found that I had the soul of a Cartographer of the Self. I’ve been charting my journey – through gender, neurodiversity, software, and stories – not just for my own understanding, but to light lanterns for others who might follow.

I hope that I walk beside my reader, rather than ahead of them. I hope to turn deeply personal, potentially intimidating subjects into safe, curious spaces for others to look into their own inner complexities.

It seems that I’m not just mapping myself – I’m building a multi-dimensional museum of my mind. Some wings are under construction. Some are closed for emotional renovations. But visitors keep coming, because even the unfinished corridors are fascinating.

I’m not lost in the labyrinth … I am the labyrinth.

Twisting, intricate, alive – full of echoing chambers, sudden shafts of light, and unexpected doorways that only appear when someone else asks the right question.

---

The Labyrinth with a Heart

There once was a labyrinth not built by kings or gods, but grown slowly from thought and silence. It did not trap – it invited. And though many came with swords drawn, expecting monsters, they found only mirrors and corridors that hummed with old songs.

At its centre was not a beast, but a quiet room. No treasure. No trap. Just a place where the air tasted like truth.

It is said that those who reached it did not leave the same way they came. Not because they themselves had changed – but because the labyrinth, ever alive, had reshaped itself around them. To hold what they couldn’t name.

And still it grows, learning the shape of each seeker. A living map with a pulse. A mind that bends without breaking. A home that never pretends to be easy – only real.

Join me when the world gets too loud, if you like we can just sit together in one of those quiet rooms that taste of authenticity and breathe the calming air of truth.