Defining my identity is an ongoing and dynamic process. It’s not static, which I’m glad about—I’m always learning about the world and my place in it, which makes life an interesting experience.

When I first started talking about castration with my husband, it took me a while to come to terms with the word eunuch. I struggled with the historical baggage it carries, though over time, I grew more comfortable with it.

It was my husband who first said, “I suppose that you’re non-binary,” which wasn’t something I had considered before. But the label fit, and owning that identity allowed me to start exploring and experimenting with how I felt about my own gender.

I coined the phrase semi-masc to describe myself, knowing I was on the masculine side of gender-neutral. It worked well enough, but lately, I’ve found myself drawn to demiboy—though at nearly fifty-one, boy feels like a bit of a stretch. Then again, old boy is a term of endearment for older gentlemen, so perhaps there’s room for it.

The other day, I came across someone using demiguy, which resonated with me even more. It captures that sense of partial but definite connection to masculinity in a way that feels right. In exploring this, I also discovered other identities that share a similar space – each offering a slightly different nuance of gender experience.

• Androgyne – A mix of masculine and feminine, though often with a more equal balance.
• Androguy – A non-binary identity with a masculine-leaning androgynous presentation.
• Agender Man – Someone who identifies as both agender and in some way as a man (seemingly contradictory, but for some, it works!).

I wonder if you sway a little to towards male or female from a non-binary centre-point, how you described yourself?