Today was an ending. A proper ending. I have taken a break from counselling with Richard before, but always with a thought that I would see him again to resume therapy.

I started working with him to try and work out who I was – I wanted to work through my sexual identity, and sort out my needs from my marriage.

We did that, but all the time I was wrestling with my relationship.

The first times I met Richard were at the office. That was a little odd – especially trying to get to and from the emotional state for counselling.

Then my husband asked me to move out and Richard started seeing me at my flat. Straight away he could see how I was different in my own space. I couldn’t change much about the physical environment, but somehow I made it very me.

I felt safe.

It was there that I came to realise that I might have some level of neurodivergence. That was a life changing and very liberating discovery. A lot of things made sense when viewed with an Autistic spectrum lens.

We met there until my husband flooded the house and I had to move back. I’d have had to move back anyway, but it was ahead of the expected time. The house was ruined – well, it felt it. Emotionally and physically. We tried to sort out so that we could both have space.

Initially, Richard came to the house, but my husband didn’t like having to go out while I had therapy, so we changed it to a different venue.

While we were at the house, Richard noticed how I changed. I was more guarded and much less happy.

Then my husband asked me to buy him out. That limbo while the remortgage went through was painful for both of us, but especially for him. The house might have been neglected and still had a lot of damage done to it, but he’s put a lot of work into it. He thought it was going to be his last home.

When he moved out, Richard started coming back to the house for our therapy sessions. Immediately he noticed how much more relaxed I was.

He helped me come to terms with the unexpected heart attack.

He witnessed me making my home more me.

Actually, we laughed about that today because I said that I could see a time when I might have less Jay stuff out because I hate dusting!

He has heard about my sexploits. Laughed with me. And I have seen him moved at times. I have felt supported and encouraged.

All through the hardest things I have had to process and understand have been relationships. The most important being my marriage.

Since working with him I have made real life friends – I have a small network of support which is both practical and emotional.

I realised I no longer needed therapy in the same way I once had..

But I will be forever grateful to Richard. He is what a good counsellor looks like to me.

During the last minutes of the conversation, I could feel myself with tears. I think I saw them in him too.

That final hug as he left – I shall miss them! He laughed when I said that I love his hugs because he’s the only person taller than me!

I fed and walked the dog, and just enjoyed the sense of loss and completion of a process enjoyed more than endured.

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If you are in Hampshire and would like to use Richard’s services for yourself, here’s the link! Get There Counselling – Individuals, Couples and Groups