⚠️ Content warning: this post discusses BDSM, bondage and suspension, including physical vulnerability and intense emotional experiences. And lasagne.

Another day with Funiculosus!

When I arrived, he poured me a coke and we went to the sofa to connect and catch up on the week. Its been a couple of weeks since we last played together and we both missed it.

We started with a face up suspension using a familiar chest harness and a dragon-leg harness on one leg and a simpler tie on the left leg. I had to ask him to adjust the left leg soon after I was hoisted up because it was too uncomfortable. He quickly obliged, both realising just how suitable the dragon tie is for suspension.

It felt uncomfortable when he had me only with the chest and dragon harness and my core had to work hard to maintain stability. I could feel part of the chest harness digging into my ribs. He noticed, checked that I was OK, and made a note that next time he must tie the chest harness’s bottom rope closer to my middle.

Once comfortably suspended from a single bar he swung me a little and we kissed like Spiderman (his favourite position).

Its a difficult position to be in and he is sensitive to how I am feeling and informed me (he didn’t ask this time) that he was going to lower me down.

I must have been dangling for a while because it was lunchtime and I had arrived just after 10:15am. It seems that time flies when you’re flying!

Funiculosus moved from my rope master to my chef, preparing me scrambled eggs and smoked salmon on toasted sourdough for lunch. He glows when he cooks, just like he does as he binds my limbs. Sometimes I feel like he’s bound me as much by good food as by rope!

After lunch he started to prepare my tea (while my lunch went down as a break from play). He’d made it for me before and it is a favourite: lasagne! He uses a recipe from an old Italian grandmother. It is radically different from how I make it … or shall I say used to make it? Because I am going to follow his technique when I make it next time! Its so much tastier!

For a start he makes it with pork. But the real differences come with how the meat sauce is made – reducing it from a runny mixture of passata and meat to a much thicker, drier mixture. And he’s not precious about spreading things evenly, instead dolloping the béchamel and the meat in clumps. He also doesn’t pack the dish, leaving gaps around the side. Trust me: this really works!

After he’d prepared my tea – this was to take home, not to eat with him and his partner! – he suggested strapping me to his bondage table for a few hours of torture. I suggested that, before we did that, perhaps we could try some face-down suspension, just to see how it felt.

He was up for that.

He started with a basic chest harness with my arms behind my back, which he made a little tighter than usual in order to make it secure while I’m hanging. You don’t want ropes slipping and pinching the skin, cutting off circulation, compressing nerves, or coming adrift while you’re off the ground!

I knelt under the bar while he tied the chest harness’ back knot to it. I could plank in that position and it felt pretty good – better than the face upwards tie. Funiculosus was concerned that a face town tie with my arms behind my back would be uncomfortable and perhaps painful. Straight away I knew that wasn’t the case!

Then he asked if he could try a simple leg tie.

Sure thing!

This really was a simple tie – both legs tied together just above the knees, then I was hoisted up.

The universe changed.

In an instant I was somewhere else – not the deep place of calm, but a high. I have never felt like this before. And never had a change come over me so immediately. Normally I drop into subspace quickly under the sensory triggers of him and his rope, but never instantly!

He was in a heightened state of mind as well – super-stimulated by the new position.

I was more vulnerable than ever before – he had access to top and bottom.

And he took full advantage of it – tickling new places the backs of my knees, my chest my feet my neck. He could get everywhere.

All I could do was dangle and laugh! This was a new space of wonder!

Then he lay beneath my face and looked up at me.

We kissed like that.

It was electric.

I couldn’t move, even wriggling was difficult.

But, while he was there, we could kiss … if he wanted to … if he would let me.

Just to add to the intensity – and strangeness – of this experience, he kept disappearing into the kitchen to stir the meat sauce for my lasagne! These disappearances are always a little exciting because they introduce a random element into our play.

I didn’t appreciate at the time that the fact that we could kiss with him lying underneath me meant that I wasn’t physically that high.

That doesn’t matter.

The connection between us is out of this world.

The trust I have for him – that he has in me – is beyond anything I have ever experienced.

His trust in me is that I will tell him if something is wrong. After the session – which went on for much longer than either of us expected, given that this was meant to just be an experiment to see how it felt and what worked and what didn’t – we lay on the sofa, with his arms around me. I was still wearing the chest harness, deepening the embrace.

I cried a little. The feelings were so strong.

What were those feelings though?

Awed and ecstatic barely do the job.