This morning, when I woke up, I was forced to accept that I’m not feeling too cheerful.

Could I be missing my friends? Or my darling doggy? Or my home? Routine? Job? Or is the heat getting to me? Or this town?

I don’t know. I feel better about Zaragoza than I did when I first arrived. If I wanted to see the “real Spain”, then this non-tourist place might be offering a good view. I’m ok here, I feel safe enough, and I’m getting used to the way it’s laid out.

The heat is a problem. I’m not sure that I’ve got the air con set at it’s best in the hotel. The room is definitely cooler than outside. And I’m glad it’s not cold – I hate nothing more than being baking hot one minute and freezing cold the next.

I’m not missing work. That was simple.

Routine is very important to my emotional regulation. When it falls apart, I’m not too far behind it. I’m getting up at random hours, but later than at home, same with going to bed. Meals are all over the place. This feels like an important recognition.

I am growing to love my house, now that it is feeling safer and I have my niknaks out. Linked to that is the dog – I miss her enormously! Every time I see a pair of doggy eyes, my heart melts. Actually, I’m thinking of the heat here, it might not be as bad at home, but it’s likely to be the hottest June day on record – and my stinky darling isn’t too keen on the heat.

I think I’m missing my friends. I don’t see them every day when I’m home, and we have been messaging every day since I’ve been away – but there’s nothing quite like a face to face chinwag.

I am missing my ex hugely. I’m hearing that Bon Jovi song, Always, running around my tired head. I’m worried about him. And I wish that I was sharing this all with him – even though he’d moan like hell about the heat and the walking and we’d probably have had a tantrum by now (I’m not saying who – I am at least at likely to throw a strop as he is).

Ok, so I reckon that is a little bit of homesickness (nowt wrong with that: I’ll get over it), and not having a structure.

I think I need to work out how to reconnect to a routine to ground me.

Funny though – the moment I recognised it, my mood seemed to lift.