I found “Proud” in a charity shop by accident. I picked it up out off curiosity. It contains twelve poems and stories by LGBTQ+ writers.

The foreward set a tone that would lead me to think that the stories would be full of angst and conflict. There was some, but overall the book has a feel good factor about it and it’s full of positivity. That doesn’t negate the comment in the foreward:

Welcome to being LGBTQ+. Your life is inherently political. Politicians, so the world over, are still discussing whether or not you should have the same fundamental human rights as straight or cisgender people.

Page 11 (the foreward)

Whilst I enjoyed all the stories, there were a couple of times that I felt a particular connection with the characters.

It was the second story, On the Run, that I felt was most insightful and interesting – especially in the current climate. The protagonist is a non-binary trans person fleeing from home with their boyfriend.

This story had the biggest “oomph” moments for me:

They say that transition is smoother the younger you are when you start. And I’m eighteen, and I’m still growing, technically, still in the trail end of puberty, so there’s time – but the clock is ticking.

Page 65

When I read that I immediately felt for all the trans youth who are currently denied hormonal support – and are then told that they cannot play sports because they’ve been exposed to the wrong hormones. That isn’t fair: we tell young trans people that they must wait, then criticise them for the consequences of waiting.

And as they grow older and their bodies have had more time to develop sex characteristics of the wrong gender, making it harder for them to “pass” (I hate that term – it suggests that there is a deception at play, and there really isn’t).

The increased additional barriers and delays will be costing young trans people their mental health and I strongly believe it will cost lives in the short and long term.

The next quote that hit me was from the same story:

I’m just not sure that I’ve ever felt like a boy. Though then again I don’t even know what you’re supposed to feel like.

…

Perhaps I’m a girl, really, under all of this. Or maybe I’m a bit, and I’m just a boy who doesn’t have facial hair and likes to wear make-up. Or maybe I’m neither, maybe I sit somewhere in between it just outside of the whole system entirely.

Page 83

I really related to this – I don’t feel like either a boy or a girl – how does it feel to be a particular gender? I’ve never been entirely convinced that I know what being a man is supposed to feel like. I know what being me feels like. Beyond that, things become much less certain.

I tend to favour comfortable clothes – and comfort is both physically comfortable (eg shorts and t shirts), or psychologically comfortable – and, sadly, for me that does mean that I wear “male” clothes and tend to avoid “female” clothes, which is a shame because skirts are physically more comfortable! I don’t like the feeling of things on my legs or arms. Its a mix of simple sensory preference balanced with surrender to social pressure to conform.

Most of the stories are rather sweet coming out stories – which is appropriate really: positive representation is essential to Pride. My favourite story was “The Instructor” for no better reason than the characterisation was so beautiful. You knew where it was going, but there was a cute little twist at the end … but I won’t spoil it for you.

Read it for yourself!