Content note: Discussion of BDSM, rope bondage, and subspace.

Is there such a thing as “typical” rope play?

Not really. Each “session” is different from the last. Yet they are all characterised by us rapidly assuming our roles – for me that means dropping into subspace. And that drop seems to happen more and more quickly!

Today the drop was almost precipitous!

But that’s not what I want to talk about today. Today the second half of the play (that is the half after lunch) was different. It was more experimental, and I watched him tying me.

Normally, I will close my eyes or be blindfolded, so this was different. And I didn’t drop into subspace immediately (although I slowly slid into that mindset).

While he was tying me – and improvising as he went – it occurred to me that there are many kinds of intimacy. With Funiculosus, there is the sensual intimacy of our rope play – dominance and surrender. There’s also the intimacy of our friendship because we talk to each other in between our sessions (in the manner of friends). And there’s vanilla sexual intimacy, and romantic intimacy, and probably a whole load of others.

The key difference in this afternoon half of our play was his experimentation. He has said to me a couple of times that he doesn’t think that he would be learning new ties without me to practice and play with. I enjoy having him tie me whether its full on kink or messing around with rope.

Today he tried one way, adapted it and tried another way. We tried a number of different positions. If I commented that something was uncomfortable or that I could feel something going a bit numb, he untied it and reworked the binding. I trust him so absolutely to keep me safe – and he does.

In the end I was in a unique situation where my arms had a tie that he’d used before on my legs. They were snugger than ever before, yet they were also very comfortable.

Together we are working towards more complex and challenging ties. We hope one day to introduce suspension, which is both exciting and risky with someone you don’t completely trust or who lacks experience.

However, the trust goes both ways: he has to be able to trust me to tell him when things are uncomfortable, painful, or something doesn’t feel right. If he can’t trust me to tell him, he can’t trust me with the riskier stuff.

So its together as a Dom/sub partnership that we can get there and really push ourselves into new frontiers.

I did slowly drop in the afternoon’s experimentation – he said “oh my god, you’re going again, aren’t you?!”, but it wasn’t like the morning. And it took me longer to come out of it – maybe that was a sort of cumulative effect.

A couple of hours later I am still in that fuzzy warm state that he puts me into.