Friday night is movie night! And this Friday Ambrosius suggested “Sinners”… and that we invite Patricius. He’s not suggested going as a group since we saw “Pillion” in December when Ambrosius became convinced that Patricius and I were holding hands while watching the film and became horribly jealous. And that didn’t work out well for our friendships.

Things didn’t start well, with me suggesting a six-thirty meet at Subway for a bite to eat, Patricius agreeing straight away, and then Ambrosius suggesting 7pm shortly before we were due to meet. Patricius said “shall we not bother?” after Ambrosius dropped a comment that he couldn’t afford five-star dining.

At Subway there was a discernible tension – I think I’m quite good at spotting it. It was uncomfortable and I really began to think this was a bad idea. Patricius and Ambrosius have known each other for years, and you’d be forgiven for thinking that they don’t like each other. But every time they fall out, they make up again.

Patricius was telling me about a trip to Salisbury with a friend; Ambrosius kept interrupting with inappropriate comments. I could see Patricius getting a little frustrated. But I also wondered whether Ambrosius felt uncomfortable himself – Pat was talking to me, but then that was because we were conversing about a mutual interest.

The bickering continued to the cinema – Ambrosius teasing Patricius. It’s that a sign of affection or insecurity? I don’t know. Pat is boundaried and playful in an adult way, Ambrosius isn’t boundaried and is more childlike. They both have their charms, but I feel emotionally safer with Patricius.

A mercy of the cinema was that people don’t talk during films! Ambrosius put himself between Pat and myself. That actually felt more comfortable for me than any other arrangement that might have put Patricius and myself next to each other … when I think about why that should be, I feel that it might be because I suspect Ambrosius of jealousy.

The film? Amazing! I went into it not knowing much about it – musically it is outstanding! A kind of hillbilly Bollywood vampire film, full of black cultural references from the south of the States in the thirties.

I want to see it again.

Ambrosius loved the film – he likes horrors, but he especially liked the music. Patricius less so: he’s more a romcom kind of a guy!

Perhaps the question isn’t them – it’s what role I’ve inadvertently wandered into – and whether I want it.