I have been feeling drained and emotionally out of sorts for a while, and there’s only so far pills and therapy can take me.

What I really needed, what I really, really needed was to be tied up and held!

When I opened the door to Funiculosus, that inner playfulness and affection that gets hidden in everyday life came bursting through – I was practically bouncing with glee that he was here. The real dog was a momentarily confused that her daddy was crazier than she was!

After hugging and kissing, we went upstairs.

There is a pattern to much of our play – I close my eyes and he blindfolds me. He prefers to use silk, which is sensual. That’s what he used today.

He draws the ropes over my skin, allowing me to feel their bristly texture and smell the beeswax, before commanding me to put my arms in the position.

I am dropping.

Dropping.

Deep, deep into subspace.

As the ropes coil tighter around me, my words fail me. I mumble assent when asked if I’m ok. Thoughts die in my mind before they have chance to form themselves.

As he works, he holds me against his bare chest. He kisses me. And I kiss him. In my blindness, I try to follow his scent as he moves around me. Trying to breathe his air.

I’m on the bed in a harness, and my legs in a hogtie. I strain against the rope, not in the hope of escape, but to enjoy the security of their embrace.

He lies next to me and adds the warmth of his arms to my bondage.

I am safe.

I am quiet.

I am also horny!

We play and tease each other. It’s funny just how much I can tease him even though I am bound hand andand foot.

He has a lovely way of saying “naughty” that gives me shivers of excitement – “nordy” it sounds like. I love his voice, it’s energy and slight accent.

I am unaware of time passing, or of the need for food or drink, but suddenly three hours have passed in play.

When we play, we often take a break for lunch. This occasion was no different – I took him to a Mexican street food place in the centre of town, where we shared some tacos and a burrito. He seemed to enjoy the food as much as I did.

We wandered the town for a short while, visiting the Lego shop and chatting. I developed a craving for churros.

“I want churros!” I said, and he led me back to the shop. He thought it was cute. He is adorable!

Returning to the house, there was time for a little more play. Within moments of the rope touching my skin I was in that place again.

More rope. More cuddling. More kissing.

At the same time sexual … yet also not. There was no need to cum. Just to enjoy the experience, the genuine warmth, and the release.

This is like a drug. He tells me that my eyes are glazed. That I look like I am stoned from smoking dope.

But of course, neither of us have smoked, drunk, nor taken anything mind-altering – we are just doing what our bodies and minds want from us.

The relationship is reciprocal. I just have to trust and say “yes”. That’s no small thing. He takes care of me.