Patricius and I went to watch the film Pillion; we had once both been into motorbikes and we both have a current interest in kink and leather.

The film follows the relationship between gawky mummy’s boy Colin (Harry Melling) and Ray (Alexander Skarsgård), a ridiculously good-looking, enigmatic biker who quickly becomes the focus of his world. Swept up in Ray’s orbit, Colin dives into a heady new landscape of longing and power, forcing him to confront just how far he’s willing to go in his devotion to another man.

Ray’s remoteness is part of his sexual magnetism. He has exceptionally clear boundaries and what he expects – demands – from those around him – especially Colin. To those not cognoscent of this kind of relationship, it appears abusive at times – it made me feel uncomfortable – and that was the point. Colin’s mother attempted to call Ray out on the way he treated Colin, however Ray put her back in her box.

I understood a lot of Colin’s attraction to Ray – not only because Ray is hot (being played by a towering and muscular Alexander). I couldn’t live the life seven days a week, as seemed to be Colin’s need … or rather six days a week.

For many, kink can be gentle play using toys, certain acts, attitudes, or dress-up. For others, kink is about pushing frontiers – that’s what I love about my leather Daddy – that he pushes my sexual liberation in ways that I would have been afraid to confront in the past. Kink is a powerful way of exploring one’s psyche, approaching one’s demons and laughing at them even while we bathe in the sweet pain of the BDSM experience. (See The Deep Psychology of BDSM and Kink for more info).

The sex scenes were well executed and moved the story on and conveyed the rough energy that can be sex within a Dom/sub dynamic. If you’re curious and seen the film, well, there’s a piece of metalwear that’s prosthetic, although what it is attached to is the real deal. Watch the film if you want to find out what that all means!

The film explores how a Dom/sub relationship is about more than rudely telling another person what to do and how to do it. It’s a two way dynamic and the Dominant has responsibilities to the submissive that include things such as nurture and affection.

In my experience so far, boundaries have been negotiated during play rather than having a rather cold discussion up front. I’ve been asked to use the traffic light system to say how comfortable I am, or just to tell the other I don’t like something. Honesty is critical in any BDSM scene. Pillion takes the protagonists into a 24/7 relationship, but there was no discussion – Colin’s attempt to ask for something for himself was met with a simple and unconsidered “no”, but Ray does learn and adapt – and genuine joy enters their relationship … then, well, you’ll have to watch the film to find out!

There were great performances by Leslie Sharp and Jake Shears (yes! Jake Shears of the Scissor Sisters being ridiculously hot in a rubber romper).

Patricius and I both enjoyed the film, Ambrosius (who has also seen it) found it boring.

After the movie, Patricius and I went for a bite to eat, where, bless him! He listened to every gory detail of my leather weekend with pleasure – what a wonderful experience it is relaying an adventure like that weekend to a friend!

I’d felt hesitant about talking to Patricius about any of my sexual adventures – I guess its what I’m used to because we met on a hookup app, so he’s not exactly shy about one-off encounters or the leather scene.

He seemed to enjoy it. He didn’t want to stand up for a while afterwards.