I have felt so tired lately. Last night I went to bed even earlier, but it was still about half-ten when I finished reading and turned out the light.

I woke shortly after six in the morning. After lying there for a few minutes, I asked “hey Google! What time is it please?” He replied “it’s the twenty-second of October, twelve minutes past six.”

I lay there for a few minutes before thinking “fuck it! If I get up now, I can go to the gym – no excuse!”

So I lowered myself out of bed, taking the usual care to avoid any sudden changes in altitude, and went downstairs to let the dog out and give her breakfast.

I had a fully-caffeinated coffee and a banana, changed into my gym clothes, and got to the gym at seven.

I walked briskly to the gym – getting there is part of the warmup! Then I took care to have an even longer warmup. Then I continued the gentle theme by starting with some yoga, mildly distracted by the muscle daddy in a woolly hat on an exercise bike next to me. Hey! I don’t stare! I am just … appreciative!

I had to take a lot of care to monitor myself – sudden changes in altitude or tempo could make me feel dizzy. I don’t expect anyone would thank me if I fainted.

Even the “sun salutations” made me feel dizzy, especially the last bit where you stand up again.

Then I did my usual circuit with weights. I used a lighter load and went more slowly. The lunges were the most difficult because they are the most dynamic. More breathing was required. However, the weight was fine – my muscles could have taken more weight, but I don’t think my heart is ready for that yet.

I finished with another set of “sun salutations”, followed by some stretching.

I feel very glad that I have managed to do some exercise. Reassured that I can exercise – albeit gently at the moment.

I think that’s an important component of physical exercise with regards to mental health: not just the endorphins, but the sense that one has kept a promise to oneself.

Maybe that’s the secret: tiredness isn’t always just a lack of sleep, sometimes it’s a deficit of self-trust.