Today is my first day officially back to work. Mornings only.

I really struggled to get up. It takes time at the moment to get both my head and my body ready to get out of bed. I can’t get straight up, I have to sit on the edge of the bed for five minutes to let my heart and blood pressure catch-up, otherwise I run the risk of passing out! It’s come close a couple of times in the night when I’ve got up for a pee and I feel lightheaded and I cannot see.

The laptop needed a few updates when it started, which was expected.

I had a lot of emails to … delete! delete! delete!

Plenty to read, but I decided that I figured that if something was really important, then somebody would let me know. Same for Teams messages – just marked most of them as “read”.

During standup, I said to the interim team lead that he should continue to lead for the current phase of the project because he knows what’s going on. I called him my ‘charming prince regent’.

Most of the morning was catching-up and meetings. I mostly listened and didn’t contribute much. A few things have changed – one of the biggest is that our development manager has left and my boss has temporarily stepped up to the role until a replacement is found. I don’t think he’d want to do it full time because he enjoys being able to do a little bit of coding from time to time.

I’m aware that I am struggling even more than before in online meetings: I simply cannot focus for more than a few minutes before zoning out! How do other people cope? Is this a neuro-divergent thing?

Guess what I did after lunch?

I had a nap!