Earlier this week I had a full bloods tests at the doctor’s surgery.  I need a few blood tests these days. Most of them are around the use of external testosterone, protecting organs like my liver, kidneys, and prostate. I also need to be tested for kidney function for the use of the new migraine medication. And there’s PrEP, which also requires kidney tests (the doctor doesn’t know about that yet, I’m under no obligation to tell her, but I think medical professionals work best when they are in possession of all the facts).

I was surprised when my bloods came back after only a couple of days; they used to take weeks.

I was more surprised that my testosterone was high – 31.54 nmol/L.

The doctor sent me a text to contact endocrinology to get their opinion. I have left a message.

What is strange is that I’m not taking a “full dose” every day; I usually take two pumps of Testavan on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays – just one on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I’d actually taken only one pump the morning of the test, so I was expecting it to be lower rather than higher.

Maybe my body is just very good at absorbing Testavan gel and the double pump isn’t necessary. Or maybe my body just doesn’t metabolise it the same as others. Perhaps it is just a fluke.

Of course, when I was producing testosterone in my own testicles, my body had a feedback loop – a sense of what it needed and when. Physical activity, sex, stress, competition – they sent signals to the hypothalamus to increase supply. But now I’m on Testavan, I’m the one dictating the supply. That loop is broken. If I stop doing testosterone-demanding things – if I don’t move, don’t lift, don’t reach – the hormone doesn’t go away. It just… floats around. Unused. Misapplied. Converted. It’s like having a crew of builders turning up every morning when I’ve got no house for them to build.

So, unless somebody tells me otherwise, I am not going to make any changes to what I am doing unless I have further information (eg a second test). I have tests every few months at present, so it’s not a long wait.

I am also going to have to really work hard to get to the gym, to run, and to cycle, in order to help my body make use of the testosterone that it’s getting. If I don’t, I really am at risk of getting a pair of boobs that cannot be mistaken for muscle!

Whatever the reason, I’ve been told that more testosterone should increase energy, mood, and libido.

I do “system tests” most days because, well – they’re fun! Yesterday I did two! So I am feeling more horny I suppose.

However, my mood and energy levels are low.

Perhaps even high testosterone cannot compensate for heartbreak and stress.