Today, HR sent around a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion questionnaire. Our managing director has always valued inclusivity, so this wasn’t surprising.

The questionnaire included questions about gender and sexuality. The options for gender were “male,” “female,” and “non-binary.” I ticked non-binary. There was also a text box for “other,” so I typed “eunuch.”

I assume the questionnaire is anonymous, but I don’t really care either way. With only about 200 employees, it wouldn’t take much effort to figure out who answered what – if “they” were that interested.

Later, a colleague mentioned in a group chat that “his youngest” had recently come out as non-binary. It was a simple statement, free of judgment, and felt like a lovely thing to share.

Another colleague messaged me privately. She was cryptic at first, saying she felt “weird” and like she didn’t quite fit. I replied that most of my friends were weird and that I was a bit weird in my own way. “I’ll tell you my weirdness if you tell me yours!” I joked.

She told me she’s non-binary too but has never felt comfortable being herself at work. I wasn’t surprised – our company’s development team is mostly cis, white men, and our managing director is in his seventies. It’s not exactly a hostile environment, just one where she hadn’t seen much representation.

We talked about pronouns (neither of us are particularly fussed) and preferred names (we both have more gender-neutral ones we like to use).

We also talked about our colleagues. In our experience, most people are simply curious – when you share your gender identity, they might say “that’s interesting” and then carry on as though it’s just another personal detail. And really, in everyday life, it is just another detail.

I believe the people who fear diversity and gender identity tend to be those who have built their power on the back of patriarchal structures – or those who get swept up in their wake.

Today, I learned I have more allies in the office than I realised. And by being authentic, I seem to empower others to be their true selves – just as their authenticity empowers me.