Friday

Bath time!

My husband wasn’t keen on going to the flat, I think that it’s symbolised things that have gone wrong in our relationship. I know he came because I asked him to come, he didn’t come for himself.

After spending the day smashing up the old sofa ready for recycling, you made a fuss about not having a shower before coming to the flat. He also had a mither about having to pack things like his medicines.

But as I headed out to get pizza, I left in marinating in the bath!

We don’t have a bath in the house so this is a treat!

Pizza and a film

I went for pizza while hubby was on the bath. Both of had margaritas with extras. He had suggested having a half in half, but since I like olives and sun-dried tomatoes and he doesn’t, that wasn’t going to happen.

After watching some trash TV for a while, we watched a DVD that I’d brought from our gay collection called “Fit”. I didn’t really remember it, which isn’t like me. There were a lot of familiar faces in this UK film that went on to do other things.

That was the best thing about the film: indulging one of my favourite hobbies of looking up everybody in the film to see what else they’ve been in. Usually that really irritates my husband, but since he wasn’t enjoying the film much, he was feeding the same thing!

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Saturday

A different kind of this night

When we first met, my husband was in a room in a halfway house. The tin had a single bed, a little hob and stove, and he somehow made this tiny space into a three ton flat! With separate kitchen, bed, and lounge area.

Somehow we would both manage to sleep in that single bed!

The bed in the flat is a queen size.

I ended up sleeping on a tiny slither of mattress, while husband filled the rest of the bed. We cuddled more than we slept – that’s why it was a good night. I’m an, however, tired now!

Packing up

After a couple of coffees, we were ready to start dismantling the piano and the desk. My husband dismantled the desk, while I dismantled the piano. You understand and the desk went comfortably into the car, the keyboard is too large to going also.

We filled in whatever gaps there were with knick knacks from the flat.

After unloading you went for a spot of lunch: eggs benedict, our mutual favourite! However, I have mine with salmon and he has with crispy bacon.

Then I went back to the flat on my own, and emptied everything in the kitchen apart from two cups and the specialist teas – I always make my counselor a cup of tea when he comes.

The car was full when I headed back to the house.

All the remains is a little bit of pinkness on the sofa and if you ornaments by the TV – I’m 2 mugs and some specialist teas!

I will clear the rest of the house after counselling on Tuesday.

Drive talking

On the way back to the house we talked a bit about anger and aggression, and how I cannot tell the difference. My husband observed that I did grow up with an angry father who actually terrorised us, which would be a learned behavioural response to anger.

I think that I have both a learned problem with anger and an ASD inability to distinguish between similar yet distinct emotions.

We stopped for a coffee on the way, and while my husband was finishing his, I went into a choir if charity shops.

In one of the shops I found this little artists case with a built in easel and a little drawer with a pallet and sections for brushes and paints. It was unused.

If mum had still been alive, I’d have bought it for her. I started to cry. I miss her so much.

My husband said that he doesn’t think that I ever really processed my grief. That is true. I don’t believe that I ever will.

He said that he liked the box as he could pop his tablet onto it. He might even use it as an artists case sometime, so I bought it for him.

Feeling a bit more like home

Once the little sofa from upstairs was brought down, the TV stand and TV put in its place, the piano positioned, and the little desk put out, I began to feel a little more like this was home.

I wonder whether we will be staying though? My husband said that he liked the flat and could imagine living there. He’s already said that he likes the idea of remaining married, but living separate.