On my own in the flat

I decided to spend one last night in flat by myself. Just because it has been my happy place – my safe space.

I made dinner for my husband and myself, then collected a few overnight things and headed back to the flat.

When there, I put the washing machine on: I had to do something useful and my husband likes his I was things.

Then I had a bath. I just lay there in the delicious hot water enjoying the quiet.

Then I read for an hour. When I read I make notes and think about what I’m reading; it’s something I’ve done for the past year while I’ve really gotten back into my old bookishness.

I played only thirty minutes of piano. There wasn’t really time enough for more – and my back was aching, which was distracting.

I chatted with friends online and did a little bit of work on the wiki. It seems that people can’t access it via VPNs, however if they drop off their VPN, create the account and login, they can then access the wiki over the VPN.

I also had a “systems test” and I am happy to report that things are very good! Very good indeed! I have to say that my Os are way better than they’ve ever been before – and they don’t really seem to be that much harder to obtain. The real test is going to be when I next have sex!

And then it was wind down before bed!

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Together in the flat

Glorious wood!

And I’m not talking about treats my body gives me in the morning!

The floors are finally fine and they look amazing!

This also means peace and quiet – bliss!

Sharing my last night in the first

My husband isn’t that keen on staying at the flat tonight. I know he’s feeding it just for me.

I want a last night when it’s still cosy and attractive and before the desk and piano go, and the remaining food items and crocks, and the bedding.

Tuesday, after counselling, I’ll remove the rest of the things that make it “my space”.

I want to share my home with him just as it was when I was happy there.

Saturday, we will be bringing most of it back to the house. It was might do one trip today and another on Sunday. Either way, I will not be able to stay there again.

I have Thursday and Friday off this week – to have a bit of recovery time after all the chaos and upheaval of the last few weeks. Well, one of those days I’ll need to do a spot of cleaning at the flat ready for the next tenant. It went take long: I looked after it – I think we will get a full deposit back.

As I wrote not long ago, it’s a year ago this month that everything blew up. My first blog entries were written starting in November. I’m going to review those as well – I think it’ll be interesting and useful to see how far I have come true last year.

This particular ending, that of leaving my temporary home for good, makes me feel sad that it’s over and anxious for the future with my husband: we really have to work at things.

As I write, I just feel tired and sad. Maybe tomorrow I will start to feel excited for the future again.