A draining morning

Its amazing how quickly the frustration spoons can run out.

Today I am working from the flat; I’d planned to do that even before the husband came home last night.l because it has a working washing machine. Or at least a washing machine that I can open the door on.

This morning I had a call at work where I was given responsibility for an important deadline. I felt excited at that point rather than stressed. I need to find some time to think and plan what needs doing. I also have my regular development work that I need to get done as others depend on me.

So far slightly stressed, but well within today’s tolerance.

Charity drop

Then I zipped into town lunchtime to drop some stuff off at a charity shop. That all went according to plan, but it did eat half of my lunchhour.

After that, I stopped on the way back to the flat go get some brownies for tonight and a burrito! Me entantan los burritos!

This left me with exactly fifteen minutes to eat my burrito and get back to work.

Answer your f**king phone!

Then the Crisis Team phoned: they couldn’t get hold of my husband and didn’t know where he was and could they see him tomorrow.

Since they didn’t know where he was, I wasn’t one-hundred-percent certain either. He had said that he might go back to the supported living place tonight.

He’d not answered my message this morning, so I tried to phone him.

No reply.

So I had to drive over to the house. The quickest roads were closed. I was shouting FUCKITYFUCKFUCKFUUUUCK in the car with frustration.

When I got to the house I had a good swear before going in.

Push it all down. Squash it down.

There he is, stripping paint on the floor. He barely looks up when I walk in.

I have to shout over the sound of the paint stripping gun to be heard.

Once, he understood, I sat on the floor and quickly scoffed my burrito. As a result, I didn’t enjoy it much.

His phone was on silent. Sigh. What’s the point?

Then I drove back to the flat to go back to work. Every traffic light seemed to be red and nobody would go fast enough for me.

My headphones are at the house and I have to start work, otherwise, I would go for a lie down to try to unwind. My back is aching again – probably from tension.

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TV on

The afternoon was more meetings and distractions. My mood didn’t really improve and the migraine continued to threaten.

When I got back to the house, I enthusiastically greeted by the dog. The husband was watching telly. Noisily (according to my sensitivities). “I haven’t missed this” I said to myself. I’ve not watched TV in months (except Strictly). I suppose that could be called intentional viewing.

My head really wasn’t feeling great – emotionally I had a feeling of sitting on a volcano.

A lie down was required. And a lie down I had!

I did feel a little less murderous after forty minute snooze. A little.

He suggested that we get an Indian takeaway. He knows I love Indian food and that food is the way to my heart.