Friday

Bad back

I slept really very badly, then woke up with an extremely achy back. It has been a little achy for a while, but this was much worse. Bending is quite painful at times!

After struggling to shower and dress, at least I wasn’t late for work this morning. However, I was very tired all day.

Mental health nurse

It was that time of the month again. I look forward to seeing this smiley lady with her beautiful teeth and soft Irish lilt.

She did observe that I looked tired.

As I related the litany of disasters that have befallen the homestead, she said that I clearly needed a break.

I said that I feel angry, but couldn’t be angry with my husband because he was ill. She validated my anger and explained that it’s a secondary emotion created when other emotions kick off – it usually means that something is wrong. It gets a bad rap because people mistake anger for aggression.

A penny dropped. I really struggle identify my own anger because it’s actually a more complicated emotion. I’m also confused by other people’s anger because it is complicated, but also because it can look and feel like aggression to me.

Flat

I have bought some CBD gummies and a CBD cold drink to have while I’m at the flat. I’m going to have some tea (from the same Indian takeaway I got tea from last weekend), then I’m going to do some piano practice, finally: I am going to have a bath and relax!

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The bath was magnificent exactly what my body needed!

I lay in the hot water and red Miriam Margolyes’ autobiography for an hour drinking a strange tasting CBD drink and scoffing gummies in an attempt to further relax my back muscles.

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Saturday

Over doing it

This shouldn’t have been too much for me, but carrying two bags of dvds to a charity shop was too much for my back.

And why do they have to be so difficult? I want to donate, but the right person isn’t there to receive the donation. So I have to waddle to the next shop.

My bloody back!

Flat

After lunch, I headed back to the flat to do some piano lessons. On the way I had a phone call from there letting agents: would I mind if they showed some people around the flat this afternoon?

Of course not!

Wow! That’s really promising!

After my piano practice, I wandered into town for a coffee.

That hurt.

Town

While drinking, I started reading “The Myth of Normal” by Gabor Maté. I was expecting it to be about neuro-diverse people, but instead it’s shit trauma. It promises to be a very interesting read!

I also bought a couple of Christmas/birthday presents for my husband. His birthday is at the start of December, and I always remember him telling me that his parents would tell him that they didn’t have enough money for both his birthday and Christmas, so I make sure that I do both equally well.

More flat news

The letting agent has taken four people round today – and each of them wants the flat!

That’s amazing news.

Bloody hell.

Now I have to move a piano (albeit an electric one) and a desk by myself with an achy back.

And find somewhere to put them in the house.