Well, let me start by saying that “I would castrated myself, if I had the balls to do it”!
I’m not usually one to take the removal of testicles lightly – I feel uncomfortable in situations online where there’s a sense of guys being egged-on to get “cut ’em off” (Reddit is the worst place for this), however there are plenty of situations where levity is appropriate!
In a conversation several months ago, actually more of a low-key row, my husband said that I “had to lose a pair to grow a pair”, which I thought was quite witty.
There’s a Discord server dedicated to “captions”; the authors find normal porn pictures (almost always straight oriented, but often that doesn’t distract from the humour). There is, of course, a strong expression of kink in the image/caption combination, which (for me) adds to the fun!
There’s quite a few to choose from, so here’s three of my favourites that are suitable for this blog!
This one tickles me because of the little twist in the tale – the girlfriend isn’t, well, she’s not actually a girl!
Don’t you just love her naughty smile?
But would you let anybody near your crown jewels with one of those?!
This is my favourite!
It combines three of my favourite things!
- Lego
- Kink
- Humour
Strictly speaking this isn’t about castration, but the words and image stuck with me, so I’m throwing it in here!
A man goes to the doctor and asks to be castrated.
The doctor is very surprised at this. “Are you sure?!”
“Yes,” said the man. “I’ve thought about it, long and hard, and I’ve decided I want to do it.”
“But are you sure you’ve thought this through?!” the doctor continued. “This will have a huge impact on important aspects of your life in ways that can’t be reversed!”
“I’ve thought it through and you’re not going to change my mind,” the man said. “Now castrate me or I’ll find another doctor.”
Some time later, the surgery is performed. When walking down the hallway to his room one day, he of course has to spread his hips wide to protect the tender area. On the way, he meets another man who was walking in the same way as him.
“Have you had the same surgery I have?” he asked.
“Yes,” said the other man. “But it was worth it. I’ve always wanted to be circumcised.”
The first man yells, “Fuck! THAT was the word!!”
Apparently, men don’t know about castration much! I’m glad that the author below told me that. I suppose that men who want castration are a tiny minority, of those and even smaller number find there way into the circles that I orbit within – but within those circles there is a lot of humour!
Normally I would avoid putting something like this up. It just isn’t very funny. There is a point to be made here. Notice the artist is a woman.
Men rarely, if ever make jokes about castration. The artist’s name is Nancy Arkell. If she is married, I have this advice for Mr. Arkell:
“GET TA HELL OUT OF THE HOUSE AND BUY HER SOME FLOWERS!!”
Image and quote taken from https://www.angelfire.com/vt/MarkThyme/specs.html
There was a roar like the scream of a camel who has just seen two bricks
Terry Pratchett, Pyramids
Terry is one of my favourite authors. His gentle yet incisive dismantling of stereotypes, his challenge of societal norms, and his wonderfully imaginative use of language. I can read this books repeatedly and still laugh out loud!
I don’t imagine that I have to explain that quote above and why it’s funny …
Often, we treat our animals with more kindness than we do our fellow humans, but sometimes …
… I’ve never had a male dog. When I was growing up we had a beautiful labrador-collie cross – a girl. Whilst I’ve been with my husband we’ve only had girl dogs. Darcy is our fourth. All of them have been girls. My husband prefers girls. I just couldn’t face getting a boy dog: the idea of having him castrated was just too… confusing? provocative? for me.
Whats the best way to castrate a priest?
Kick the alter boy in the chin
The best humour is often on the edge of acceptable – sometimes on the other side of “good taste”. This joke is funny (to me), although it says so much about societies thoughts on Catholic priests.
A friend posted this on Facebook and it made me chuckle; it’s not a problem that I’m going to have to worry about!
Eunuchorn 
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