I set the alarm for 7am, but struggled to get up. I finally emerged at 7:45 – I needed to get up for the doctor’s call about my autism referral.

I was quite anxious – but I was prepared with an enormous list of symptoms to consider.

I shaved, but didn’t feel that I had time for a shower in case she phoned – I like to be early or ready early for calls and meetings.

While I waited, I got the list of symptoms ready on the tablet, had some breakfast, then began to catch up on my letter to my best friend in New Zealand. Despite all my writing that I do, I had gotten hopelessly behind in my letter to her. We usually have two or three letters a year.

The doctor called at 10am – so I didn’t have to wait too long really.

I immediately began with my script and I tried to not deviate from it.

About halfway through she stopped me and said “its OK, you are very well prepared, I’ll make the referral”.

Trouble with me is that once I start on something, its really difficult to stop! I wanted to keep going – I had to mention that this has greatly impacted on my marriage – especially the shutdowns and meltdowns.

I did say that I wanted the referral because I felt that it would help with work (justifying changes to my working environment to make things smoother for me), but also that it might help my marriage if I can prove that I’m not just selfish and bloody-minded and that my brain is definitely architected differently from most other people’s. I said that I felt that I’d been grinding the gears in my brain for years trying to make it work like other people’s and it just doesn’t: I am exhausted and burnt out by the effort.

She has sent me a website for “patient choice”, so that I can pick a provider that might see me sooner (it is a long waiting list – especially for adults)

So, that’s the referral going to be made! I need to email her my list to help her referral letter.

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… well, I would email her my autism notes, but the NHS website I need to use for it broken by the world-affecting virus checker update that’s brought so many services to a standstill!