System tests
I perform system tests a couple of times a week. The system is a little faulty, but not in any way that bothers me really!
Orgasms are always dry. They feel good, although they do take a bit of work. It takes a bit of time to get hard and a bit of work to get to orgasm. I can easily get distracted, which might always have been the case for me, however if I stop for any reason then my cock swiftly deflates. I can lose interest in masturbating if it feels like too much hard work and there’s no sense of frustration when I do. Edging just isn’t a thing for me now – if I tried it, I simply would not be able to cum, even though I might stay hard.
The orgasms themselves feel a little different: I can feel my body trying to retract my balls, which feels super strange (although not unpleasant), I can feel the muscles that pump the goo frantically working, it’s like being tickled inside my body and that’s the orgasm – even without producing anything they feel good. Probably about as good as uncastrated orgasms.
Not producing any goo is itself strange, and a little anticlimactic! I miss the eunuch goo that I produced in such quantities in weeks 3 to 6 post castratation – I really hope that the little bit of testosterone that I want is enough to bring back the goo!
Without the goo, there’s nothing to clean up – and no stains on the bedclothes!
Last note on orgasms today – I still need a bloody pee afterwards! What’s that about?!
Help with the move
My husband volunteered to help with the last bits of the move today, specifically to rebuild the desk, which he’d earlier dismantled to make it easier to transport.
I was worried about him – despite him initially asking for me to move out, he is finding this difficult and I am afraid that he might have a bad episode when I do move out.
He had suggested coming, and I had reservations for the reasons above, yet I thought that this might make my final move tomorrow night a little easier – he will have faced the fact with me around to talk about it, he would have seen the place and known that I was safe, and he would know where to find me. I have no fears of him turning up and banging on the door if be does have a bad spell.
Regarding bad spells, I have left communication lines open so that he can contact (and vice versa). More than that, we plan to see each other, text and message regularly, and meet up on neutral territory for relationship talks. That should keep our two homes as safe spaces. I have said that we should check in at least once a day …. and if doesn’t, then I will turn up to see that he’s ok!
We will also meet up for dates.
He also suggested that we need to set boundaries … sexual boundaries. That surprised me because I thought that he wanted only monogamy. He has an interesting view on things between us: our relationship, such as it was, is over – we are starting something new. That is not to say that we won’t talk about past issues, we very much must and will, but we will set out new boundaries and start with working towards a new partnership.
Interesting and exciting!
However, as there was no time to discuss it now (and we are too early into this new phase – this new relationship), we will start by agreeing to remain monogamous until we talk and mutually agree what our rules are.
Tomorrow, when I leave the family home, for the last time in – I don’t know how long – and after I visited my dad, I will start living in my new flat.
I suddenly feel that this time in our relationship is an exciting period of change and innovation – we, neither of us, are who we used to be – received have made an end: which means that this is a beginning.
Gender fluid
I’m not gender fluid (I don’t think!), but the author of this Facebook post made me laugh!
Eunuchorn 
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