My husband and I recently rewatched the Channel 4 drama It’s A Sin, written by Russel T Davies. The original Queer As Folk changed our lives back in 1999, with it’s happy and positive depiction of gay life. We made a few pilgrimages to Manchester to experience it for ourselves.

It’s A Sin starts in 1981, when I was 7 and already aware that I was different. The first episode introduces the cast, led by Olly Alexander. He is brilliant throughout, sparkling in his denial of the burgeoning AIDS epidemic, then terrified when he finally had to accept the reality of it.

Each episode covers an evolution of the crisis and the surrounding political and social attitudes. For example, in 1986 the government’s “Don’t Die of Ignorance” AIDS “awareness” campaign was aired, terrifying children and reinforcing prejudice across the UK.

One could effectively be imprisoned for having AIDS. You would die alone, shunned by the medical staff. Friends had to lie in order to be able to see you. Your lover would have no say over your treatment and they might not be allowed to even be at your funeral.

You could still be sacked for being gay, with no recourse to law or support from unions.

Life for gay men and women was fragile.

In 1988 Section 28 raised it’s ugly head. I was bullied at school for allegedly being gay (I didn’t know it myself then … actually, I didn’t even know what “gay” was, only that it was “wrong” and “disgusting” and something to be ashamed of). The teachers did their best, but their hands were tied.

However, in this year, Lady Di gave a young man, who was dying of AIDS, a handshake … and changed the world. In one gesture she drove a stake through the heart of the shame over HIV and AIDS, and became the champion and beloved of gay men and women.

I remembered the intrusive questions at bank about my sexuality and whether it’s ever been tested for HIV or Hepatitis – not even had I ever tested positive. Of course, I lied: I had to. Being gay way back one was continually assessing whether it was safe to come out she be truthful. Aside from it being illegal to ask such questions these days, I wonder whether banks and issuance companies have up asking because nobody in their right mind would answer “yes” to questions that would forever block mortgages and insurance cover.

Finally, and not something I experienced myself, partners could be and often we’re excluded from funerals. This happened to a friend of mine; I don’t think he’s ever really gotten over it.

I still carry some of the trauma of living through that time.

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Jonathan Walters

Jonathan was a lecture at Bristol University while I was studying Ancient History there. He is remarkable for a number of reasons.

Firstly, as an out gay man working in a high profile position within the university and specialising in “gender and sexuality” in antiquity: he was out and proud during a time when he still could have been fired for being so.

Secondly, he was one of the first people I came out to. He understood my fear and shame and gave me an example of how unnecessary shame was. If he had fear, he rarely showed it – instead he championed awareness and acceptance.

He had a unique dress sense, I remember him in doc martins, skinny jeans, and a tighty white T shirt. A friend recently reminded me that sometimes he would come to lectures wearing a camouflage kilt! I think he enjoyed being the rebel and pushing the frontiers.

To my regret, I lost touch with him when I left university.

A few years later, my partner and I (who is now my husband) were at the Bristol harbour festival when we were approached by Jonathan. He was very drunk and I have a problem being around drunk people. At the time my husband saw himself as a recovering alcoholic. I saw my father as an active alcoholic. We were polite, but made an escape. This may have been the summer of 1998 or 99. I seem to remember that he was going to Dublin university.

Some time later, and I do not remember how I came by this news, I heard that Jonathan had died of an AIDS related illness. I truly regret not staying in touch and I regret not taking the opportunity given me that summer at the festival to reconnect with this kind and brave man.

I hope that I am wrong and that Jonathan is out there somewhere, however it appears that he stopped producing articles in classical publications in the very early 00s.

I wonder what he would have made of my life and choices. I think it would have made for a very interesting discussion with him!