And I’m not feeling good

Midnight musings

Late yesterday a migraine developed. It got worse while I was watching the Eurovision semifinal. I’m writing this at 3am having the most horrendous hot AND cold flushes. I cannot get comfortable. My tummy feels a bit unsteady. I can’t tell whether I’m ill, or just having a particularly bad menopause night.

And my head is playing Tony Christie “Is this the way to Amarillo?” alternating with Kirsty McCall “Perfect Day”.

These flushes are strange. My body is telling me “you are too hot” and might even start sweating, but if I lay a hand on my skin, it feels normal, maybe even cold where it’s exposed to the air. In the quiet of the night, I seem to be feeling both hot and cold at the same time.

My husband was downstairs; I could hear that he was struggling to sleep also. I went down and asked him why he’d not come up, “so as not to disturb you” he said. I asked if he’d like to change places, so that I wouldn’t disturb him in the morning. He didn’t. Back to bed I go. It’s nearly 4am now. It was 2am when I realised that I was too uncomfortable to sleep.

Things I learnt tonight while googling (don’t ask for references, it’s bloody 4am):

Being castrated won’t cure male pattern baldness.
It’s not excess testosterone that’s converted to estrogen (as I told somebody the other day), it’s just some testosterone in the male brain is converted to estrogen.
There are always a few sleepless people around on Discord if you fancy a chat.

Also, while bored I started asking ChatGPT a number of questions starting from the premis “would exercise reduce the available testosterone that can be converted to estrogen and thereby make hot flushes worse?”, the last question in the set was “would exercise therefore help with menopause symptoms in a castrated man?” resulted in:

Exercise can definitely help alleviate some symptoms commonly associated with menopause, such as hot flushes, mood swings, and fatigue. Even though the hormonal context is different in castrated men compared to menopausal women, the benefits of exercise on overall well-being can still apply. Exercise helps regulate body temperature, improve mood, boost energy levels, and promote better sleep—all of which can be beneficial for managing menopause symptoms. Plus, regular physical activity has numerous other health benefits, including reducing the risk of heart disease and osteoporosis, which are concerns for both menopausal women and castrated men. So, incorporating exercise into your routine could certainly be helpful for managing symptoms and promoting overall health and well-being.

That seems to suggest the opposite to what I theorised; and whilst ChatGPT is neither a doctor nor an endocrinologist, neither am I!

And it’s the middle of the night and I’m not going to fact check this. It seems plausible at least. One problem is that if I can’t bloody sleep then I feel even more fatigued than usual … so I can’t exercise.

Well, I say that, I still intend to cycle into the office in … Oh, about three hours time.

Morning has broken [me]

I think I got about two hours sleep last night. I don’t feel tired. I feel like a migraine about to happen.

My husband had a disturbed night with nightmares.

I’m do cycle into the office. I really hope the fresh air sorts me out, although I fear I’m as likely to fall asleep at my desk later. I don’t feel tired now though. I feel kinda weird. Buzzing. There’s a bit of a whistle in my ears.

The cycle to work wasn’t too bad; only slightly achy legs from yesterday, which soon passed. My scrotal void did feel a little more sore. I have to cycle home this evening, then I’m planning on cycling into the office tomorrow as well, then I have a week’s leave. I might go cycling on my week off, I don’t know yet.

Creeping progress with getting testosterone

Yesterday I tried to speak to somebody in the Endocrinology Department, but the phone just kept going to voicemail. I tried again today, but decided to leave a message. I had a call back within an hour, which I appreciated. However, the news wasn’t great: they will not prescribe anything without seeing me. Arse. Thanks for letting me know though.

I then phoned the GP for a telephone appointment. Call back tomorrow at 08:30 or do an e-consultation and a doctor will respond tomorrow. I logged into the NHS app and then thought “I wonder if there’s a nearer appointment?”. There was – 12th June, a shade over a month away, which is much better than September – I shall keep checking the app every day to see whether there are even closer appointments! Perhaps there is hope yet!

Final note of the day…

I didn’t fall asleep at my desk. I wasn’t on top form, but neither was I hopeless.

The cycle home was a bit more tiring; I am going to cycle tomorrow, then Friday I’m working from home.

I feel drained, but ok, and no migraine so far.