What Is Rule Number One Of Cherry’s Quiz?

The last time we went to a quiz at the London Hotel in Southampton was probably September last year. We stopped going because we were not able to function as a couple any more. I felt we are in a better place now, even though there is still so much to work on.

The hostess is Cherry Liqueur, a statuesque and acerbic drag queen. She knows what elements of her show to keep static and what to mix up every night.

The quiz costs £2 per player in a team and teams must be between two and six people in size. My husband and I were on a team by ourselves; we called ourselves “do you think we’ll cum last?”

After handing out the answer sheets and collecting the subs, she performs one live number. Last night’s was “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves; it wasn’t one of Cherry’s best performances, but everybody had fun with it.

Then starts the theme tune 🎵its time for Cherry’s Quiz // its time for Cherry’s Quiz // what time is it? 🎶 “Cherry’s Quiz!” the audience responds, “and the crowd goes wild” intones Cherry.

Then she does her “neeeeeeew members” routine where she insults various parts of the country or city (if they are from Southampton), or nationalities, if they are from abroad.

Next come the rules, which most of the audience knows by heart and repeats with her. Rule One is Don’t be Fick, because if you are Fick you will not win. Rules two and three are about not cheating. Rule four is don’t ask Cherry to repeat the question, which means you break rule one and will be deducted two points. Not that Cherry or anybody else keeps track of who she knocks points off of!

After the usual joke of “I’ve lost the theme tune”, she then sings the intro to the first round 🎵its time for General Knowledge // its time for General Knowledge // what time is it? 🎶 “General Knowledge!” cheer back the crowd.

Then follows the next of her standing jokes, which the audience always joins in with: “if you’re thinking that’s the same as the first tune, you are correct, but you don’t get a point because the quiz hasn’t started yet“.

The quiz consists of five rounds. The first is always general knowledge, the second is an audience suggested round. Then there is a comfort break. The third round is a music round (eg sometimes Cherry will play extracts of tunes on a kazoo). The forth round is a picture round, followed by a comfort break. The fifth round is usually pretty random. There is also, usually – and unfortunately, a drawing part of the quiz. We did really well on the first two rounds and then were hopeless on the last three.

She is very rude about the teams that come in the last few places, but one expects nothing less of a drag queen. It really helps not to take the quiz too seriously! We came third from last and I cheered when she read out our name; “you’re still shit” she said, smiling.

The winning team then plays a game for the prize money known as “Pound Cherry’s Purse”. There are eight purses containing various modifiers to the prize pot (lose, half, win a penny, as well as double, win and extra £x). Last night’s team lost.

When my husband and I are in a bad place, we can’t do anything together and the quiz really shows it: the experience becomes fractious and we bicker. When we are in a good place, we have a laugh. Last night, we talked and laughed a lot.

My husband always feels uncomfortable in busy places; I often do too, but not to the same extent. He is also much more aware of his age than previously, and that’s thanks to being on Grindr. He likes younger men; younger men would see him as a daddy and he doesn’t want to be seen as a daddy, so he just feels old. I am wondering whether opening up is going to be possible for us, even if it is a good idea. These feelings rather spoilt his evening.

The gym is closed this morning, so I wasn’t too worried about a late night. My feelings of fatigue and tiredness are getting worse.