Reviewing Monday

My husband and I had another good talk about the things I’d raised on Monday. At the end he asked “what do you hope for from this conversation?”, I answered that “I hoped that he felt less burdened by what had happened”. He said that he did feel a little less burdened and somewhat validated.

That’s all I can do really, think about things, reflect, take ownership, apologise, change stuff going forward.

I wonder why this coming out as non-binary and being castrated is enabling me to make these changes in my life? To face myself and and challenge myself in this way?

---

Gym Time

I struggled to get up again, but I’m not aware of any hot flushes last night. I’m still tired though. The lack of flushes could be the usual a-few-days-off-a-few-days-on, or it might be the sage pills and other menopause homeopathic remedies having some effect. Of course, they might ask be expensive bulk bullshit.

I did learn on a Discord chat that an increase in desire for sweet and fatty foods can also happen after castration when testosterone is low; I already had a sweet tooth, but over the last month or so I really do crave sweet foods!

Today’s gym was another weights session, but even though the weights were a little heavier than last time and I only did one set, I can tell that my legs don’t ache at all, so none of the the bad DOMS!

I would love a good Dom to tell me what to do and keep me out of trouble 😜

---

Doctor cancelled

I had a phone call from the surgery; due to staff illness they have to postpone my appointment. I’m now seeing the doctor next Thursday.

I feel like crying.

I think this trouble with getting my testosterone is getting me down.

On the plus side, I might be feeling down, but before my castration this would have sent me into a ball-banding-paracetomol-guzzling danger to my own life. Although, I can feel the shadow of those feelings on my shoulder.

---

People Like To Be Asked

Following on from Monday’s post, I realised that I’d done more people wrong than just “Marcus”. I’d sent a number of people, whom I felt would be able to contribute to this new site, invites. I didn’t really explain that I expected something of them (their time and their intellect), I just sent the invite and expected them to “do their thing”. They deserve an apology, since I should have asked them first. Apologies sent.

I also need to apologise to the person working on the site, since it could be that I have alienated some people whom it really would have been of benefit to have involved.

I found myself thinking “I wish there was somebody that I could talk things through with”. What are husbands for, if not discussing problems with??

So far, everybody to whom I apologised has been very kind about it, so maybe no damage done