A New Discovery About My Body

Well, just when I think I’m used to my new body I discover something else! Last night I was doing my anti-ED exercises in bed, when my husband asked what I was doing. So I put his hand there … what followed was electric as his hand and tongue explored the area. This was the first time he allowed himself to touch and sense the scar … and the first time that the area was touched in that way. I must say, the sensations were incredible! The area is so sensitive, much more so than my glans or shaft, and much more so than I imagined it would be: I have a new super-erogenous zone! I was so hard that it hurt, but cum I could not! I really wanted to reward his efforts with my sweet eunuch-goo, but after the “system test” the night before (which took me as long time to cum), orgasm stayed a long way away.

My husband and I talked about it this morning. He thought that he felt a small amount of grief for the balls and that it “didn’t feel right without the balls”, but acknowledged just how excited I became. He realised some time ago that I didn’t like my balls touched, and reflected that somehow sex wasn’t “good enough” while I was testiculated, which made me feel a little sad because it sounded like he felt inadequate, which I reassured him that he is not and never was. He also observed that without the balls my shaft seems so much longer (it’s no different), but that experience triggers his additional feelings of inadequacy, which I find upsetting: I never want him to feel that way.

I slept from half-eleven last night (or whatever time it was we gave up trying to make me orgasm) until nine this morning. I know got up a couple of times for a wee in the night – but no hot flushes

Interesting note: I didn’t cum, yet I didn’t feel frustrated from not cumming. Previously, I’d have felt “blue balls” if I’d got all excited and not cum.

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Discussing Community With My Husband

Since my eviction from the Eunuch Archive I’ve been thinking about what sort of resources are needed by the eunuch community. Reddit is pretty useless, being mostly about fantasy and tittilation. The Discord communities, especially The Dog House, are my happy place, where I go for support, fun, and a chat; however information passes quickly off scope, so it is effectively lost. I discovered another online community for non-binary people, but didn’t feel particularly welcome.

I have a wiki area on this blog, however whilst it’s on my blog it is mine and only I can add to it. I want to move this into a community owned and managed space.

I’d made some notes and talked to my husband about it. The reason I wanted to talk to him was because one of the things that I hope to achieve is a place where friends and relatives can come for their own support. I also want to involve him in my life and the things that are important to me. He also has a view as (currently) an outsider to the community. I would like to involve him as an ally member of the community. His professional background as a counsellor also gives him useful insights into organisations.

I’ve taken the traditions and concepts of twelve step programs as an inspiration, since they are self-organising and self-policing – and have proved that such structures have longevity.

He did have some interesting thoughts, which I’ve worked into my notes.

I’m going to let him have a further read, then ask a few trusted community friends to comment and get involved.

If anything does come of this, I don’t want it to be “my thing”, but something that all of us eunuchs, nullos, bivalves, and our allies and friends, can own and grow.