Last night I did another “systems test”. It was a little bit furtive as my husband was sleeping next to me. I got properly hard, and whilst the orgasm took quite a bit longer than of old, the resulting orgasm was quite a bit more intense when it eventually came! My cum didn’t taste of shutting much though. I wonder if that’s just the way it’s going to be, or whether that’s just low T? I will find out eventually I guess!

Thinking of low T. I wasn’t actually horny, I just felt like I ought to have a go, so to speak.

I’m the middle of the night with a proper boner!

Then I woke in the morning with a headache.

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Second time at the gym. Getting my heart pumping feels good. I have two listen so carefully to my body, less so on the elliptical trainer, much more so with the stretching afterwards: after five weeks of not stretching, I have lost a bit of flexibility and it would be so easy to damage myself by stretching too much.

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Work has an online GP service I thought I would try. You book an appointment online and the doctor is pretty prompt. I briefly explained everything again (I had already explained it in the appointment’s creation). Chap was nice, nonjudgemental, but not that useful. He offered to write me a private endocrinology referral, but he would have to send a copy to my GP, which I want keen on: firstly, after paying nearly £2k to fly home from Mexico early we cannot afford it, secondly I do not want to do anything that might jeopardize a future NHS referral…

…which I am still waiting for.

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I had my first post-castration counselling session. Most of the session was just getting him up to speed with everything. It made it clear to me again that when I was supposed to be recuperating, I was instead worry about my husband or running errands for him or sleeping in a car when I should have been in a bed: I have not had the down time that I had expected and planned for. I might have low testosterone now, but I am really surprised that I am not utterly exhausted, and instead all only a little tired and perhaps fatigued.

Something else was discussed. It was my husband that first said “I suppose you’re non-binary now”, and I accepted it. The thing is, I also just feel like a gay guy without testicles. I need to do more reflecting on that and talking around the subject; next week there’s a meeting in town for trans-folks that I have been planning to go to since November (they only meet once a month) – they might be good to talk to.

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I was delighted when work started creating a series of articles on the intranet (ie for employee use) about LGBTQ+ Month. The company is a pretty cool place to work and has a wonderful attitude to it’s staff and has a mission to improve the world in other ways.

The most recent article went into detail about gender identity, biological gender, gender expression, and sexuality. I really appreciated the effort and consideration being given to people who don’t identify as cis-gender heterosexual.

As well as writing their own article, they posted a link to good YouTube video and a groovy infographic.