I have some discomfort in my groin that feels like something is rubbing, but not visible signs on the skin, so I’ve taken some ibuprofen and a couple of herbal sleep aids.  I’ve also put some numbing cream on for the night.

Actually, or occurs to me that part of the discomfort to the right of my cock (not at the bottom of the stitches where the final annoying knot is) aches sometimes; this is where I have had pre-castration aches. Once I even had a biopsy taken of the lymph node there to see whether they’re was a problem. Nothing was found. However, the ache there, whilst more intense than it has been for a while, might be nothing more than a reinvigorated old problem.

I’m going commando again today in my soft joggers; I am on the office, but the little guy isn’t likely to wake up and embarrass me at the moment. The strange thing about joggers I’ve noticed is that if I’m sorted of slouching, it feels as though there’s something pressing on the area between the lower area of the scar (not on the scar) and the inside of my leg – I can pull the fabric away and get the sensation remains, so whatever the discomfort is, it isn’t my clothes.

Soft joggers haven’t made any difference, something underside feels sore, but nothing looks sore. I don’t think anything is rubbing. I wonder whether there is something that’s gotten inflamed beneath the skin? I have taken some ibuprofen.

I’m also struggling to get the GP to redo my referral to endocrinology. I have encountered homophobia both on the past and recently, but that’s Alistair been with strangers. I’ve never knowingly encountered prejudice or discrimination from an employer or a medical professional … but there is a party of me that wonders if that’s what is going on: is my GP quietly thinking to herself that castration was my choice and that makes my treatment a lower priority – or that maybe she even feels that I somehow don’t feel deserve urgent treatment. I also feel unkind thinking such things as she comes across as kind and compassionate, but some people can do that and yet hate your guts.

I’ve chased the doctor now for the third day in a row. According to the reception person is on the doctor’s list as urgent. Am I just impatient? At what point should I consider it an affront and discriminatory?