My worry is that WordPress seems to have a lot of religious sites and that somebody could conceivable complain about either the subject matter or my (occasional) colourful language. I’ve put a lot of time into this site and I would be really upset if it was lost … I need to keep regular backups onto my computer … just in case! I got burnt when I was thrown out of the Eunach Archive for no good reason, so I need to make sure that I learn from that (my WordPress site was my backup in case something happened in the EA).

One day, I would like to create a Wiki and blog site for us eunuchs, nullos, bivalves, wannabes, and our allies, to be a safe repository for our combined knowledge and experience. It should be a curated yet inclusive safe space

I started telling my husband about my time in Mexico; we’ve not had an opportunity to talk about it until now. I got to the end of the operation and I noticed that he was shaking, so I stopped. I know that the whole way I handled this coming out as needing castration ran at the pace of a downhill freight train without breaks, and I never allowed my husband to voice an opinion or feel as though he had any part in the decision. Of course, the decision would always be mine, but fearing opposition or that I would be talked down, I closed down any involvement he had. In doing so I made him feel excluded not just from the process, but also from my life. This was never going to make our relationship any healthier. He’s done very well to support me as well as he has done. If I’d involved him right from the start and not come out straight away on the defensive, he might have been with me in Mexico, and he almost certainly wouldn’t have been triggered the way he was. If. So now we both have to deal with the consequences, which makes healing our relationship much harder. I love him so very much and I am going to work much harder on our relationship, being always open and honest with him, and paying back the honesty and openness that he has always given me. I had always said “I love you” way more than him, it’s something that needs to be said; he has acted “I love you” way more than me, and that’s the more important. He’s always been 100% committed to our relationship; I have always held back a part of myself. I never want to hold back from him again.

This afternoon hubby and I have been watching trash TV: The Traitors Australia. It’s probably a good break from his brain for him, it’s also good for me too take a proper rest; my scar is a little sore today, which I think is from a lot of walking on Friday, and doing the shopping yesterday.

I will phone the doctor tomorrow to see if I can get an earlier appointment; I don’t actually know what she’s going to say, but I feel a need to get my testosterone sorted. If she can’t/won’t do anything and I’m stuck in the limbo of waiting for endrinocolgy, I’ll do as has been suggested and look at escalating the issue.

Poo diary: I’m nearly back to normal. Not wet and messy at all; I think the pre- and post-biotics are working. Nobody ever mentioned that getting castrated would cause diarrhea. That’s not something people will tell you! Thing is, I had to take the antibiotics because the wound is immediately next to the poo-hole and immediately above the water where poo goes SPLASH! I had to be protected against infection. That’s the price I had to pay!