Last night I a migraine started. Often, all that’s needed is a good night’s sleep to cure a headache, so I didn’t take anything, but in night the pain actually got worse and I had to get up and take a sumatriptan migraine tablet. This morning I still had a migraine. So my question to my eunuch brothers is: did you experience any headaches as your testosterone began to decline? Is this an actual symptom? Or is the simpler explanation that I have been mega stressed by my husband’s illness the more likely reason?
It was also the second morning without wood. I know that I get greater fewer erections when I’m stressed, but it could also be down to declining testosterone.
I’ve been thinking about the fear and anxiety I felt before the operation… I mean I’m only ten days in and I still have to sort out testosterone and find out whether it works for me, and my own testosterone is probably still circling through my system… but I’m wondering what it was all that fear and anxiety actually about? Everything about the operation and recovery has simply been a thrill! I’m loving the way my body looks down there and I can imagine just how good it’s going to feel when I’m all healed and I can have a proper play.
Glue from the plasters is a problem. Throughout the day my body heats the plasters and they slowly shift about, leaving a little of the glue behind, which then sticks to skin elsewhere. I’m using nail polish remover pads to help remove old glue when I change my dressings. I don’t know how long I’ll need to wear the padding for, I guess until things are comfortable and secure enough for me to go without. I’m thinking that I’ll see how things are on the weekend.
Changing the dressing today was a little painful. The micropore tape, which initially didn’t seem that sticky had actually stuck really well and pulled at my hairs coming off worse than the other tape. I could see that the padding itself, which was “wound dressings” from Boots had dug into the skin and left marks. The recovery centre had used gauze, which was soft; this stuff was more rigid. When I finally got everything off and given the area a clean with the nail polish remover, I shaved everything. The son was sore from pulling at the take and from the operation, but hopefully it will be worth the effort. I’ve made the dressing narrower and used less laps this time, and I’m relying on my compression pants to help keep things in place. The stitches so seem to be disappearing, so maybe I won’t need the dressing on for much longer.
I have emailed the doctor to see about a referral to endocrinology; hopefully it will work this time, since I really do need hormones on account of now being detesticulated! I’ll also chase the gender identity clinic – either will do, I don’t care!
My husband and I have spent all day talking, which is very difficult when he’s still feeling unstable from his PTSD episode and I have a migraine, but we did all right. After about 4 hours talking I said that I couldn’t do any more, which sometimes makes him angry (“you’re controlling when I can talk), but he was OK today because I think that I explained my reasons kindly. He was starting to talk about sex and was getting worked up and heated. ITs a topic we must talk about, but not when neither of us are feeling emotionally stable.
Tomorrow, I am back to work, although it is working from home. I could do with a bit more rest, but it is only 2 days I have to survive!
Eunuchorn 
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