I am incredibly worried about my husband. Some of the things he said in my last conversation with him yesterday freaked me out. I’ve been trying to get the local mental health people to visit him because he’s not answering the phone, which in itself, that isn’t unusual when he’s having a PTSD or bipolar episode, however in the light of what he said to me is making me feel physical ill.

If they don’t make contact with him and confirm that he’s safe, I am going to have to attempt to return home early.

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I told my nurse that my husband was very ill and I was very worried (which I managed in Spanish!). She gave me a lovely warm hug.

I did manage to get hold of the mental health people eventually, and they’d not long come back from seeing my husband – I nearly cried with relief. I asked whether it would be best if I came home, they said he is angry and distressed and I might agitate him further.

I’m completely torn as to what to do. Speaking to Marla, however, if I wanted to travel home now I could. I don’t need to worry about the journey seeing me back overnight overmuch.

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I did go downstairs for breakfast with the same guys that I’d played bingo with last night. It’s good to see them all slowly recovering and to hear their own journeys.

Marla met us just after breakfast and bought us the most amazing tacos; words fail me. They were to die for!

I’m going to spend a little a little time reflecting on whether I am best going home, or staying just a little bit longer.

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I brought three books with me:

I finished the Patrick Stewart book a couple of days ago. I don’t usually read autobiographies, but Jean-Luc has been a hero of mine, and Sir Patrick is an amazing person. He’s a fabulous gay ally, as I learnt when I saw the captain of the Enterprise play the fabulously camp and loving Sterling in Jeffery.

I have just started “The Deep Psychology of BDSM and Kink” and have encountered the phrase “soul centred”, which sounds quite beautiful. I’m familiar with a few different schools of therapy (my husband was a counsellor and retains a deep passion for therapy). I am wondering what he would make of “Soul Centred” as a type of therapy.

The last book (“Lie with me”) is a gay romance, which I’ve not started yet.

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For anyone who has been following this blog, you’ll be familiar with the initial difficulties I had with toilet functions. I’m now able to wee/poo/wee with only minimal fuss, thanks to the reduced bandages. However, the antibiotics have reduced my number twos to something like brown porridge.

Interesting observation: so far I’ve only worn compression pants bought specifically for this operation, today I put on a pair of undies that had previously been very tight and I regarded as compression pants – they are much roomier than previously had been the case! Maybe I’ll be a size smaller in the underwear department!

Sliding out of my chair hurts – ouch! Landing too hard on a plastic chair is also a bit of ouch! Nothing too bad, but I’m aware of a bit of pain. My crotch is feeling a little less comfortable than previously, perhaps because I’m starting to regain feeling down there. I also caught myself running up the stairs, such wasn’t comfortable at all!

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I’ve looked into bringing my flight forward to tomorrow or Sunday and it’s not going to happen. It cost about £660 return to get here, if I alter the flight I’d have to pay an extra £1786! We’ve paid for this trip and operation using savings and credit card and we’re waiting on a mortgage advance to come through, which should have come through ages ago: we just don’t have the cash.

I’m beginning to flag a bit; I’ve a migraine coming (I’ve taken a migraine tablet now), which I expect is down to stress. I’m going to get an early night tonight I think.

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I’m still the only eunuch I’ve met.