It’s 01:53 in the morning. I went to bed at 10:30 and have been lying there ever since. My brain is live the proverbial browser with 100 tabs open and three of them playing music.

The stupid thoughts that are ruining around include things like:

• I need to tell the recovery centre in Mexico which flight I’m arriving on so they know when to pick me up
• Will I be safe going into Tijuana on my own?
• Should I take up the recovery centre manager’s offer of a tour of Tijuana?
• Would it be rude to decline?
• Will I get to use the Spanish I’ve been learning?
• Will I be too shy to use it?
• Will my phone work over there?
• Will the data package I’ve bought work?
• What happens if I need a wee when I’m supposed to be on bed rest only and can’t get up?
• Worse! What happens if I need a poo?
• Will I like the people I meet in the centre? Will I be able to relate to any of them?
• One of the browser tabs is playing “Is this the way to Amarillo?”

That’s the kind of nonsense that’s going around my stupid brain.

What’s the point on any of it?!

I’ve tried hypnosis. That was great until the track ended, then I was wide awake again.

I’m up on the sofa watching “What we do in three shadows” and drinking a hot milk with a dash of nutmeg (oat milk, because real milk upsets my tummy, thing is oat milk is missing the bit that helps you sleep).

Stupid brain.

Oh, and stupid balls: they help really uncomfortable tonight and keep distracting me. But guess what? NOT FOR LONG! WAAHAHAHAHA!

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03:09 sod it. I can’t sleep, so I’m going to do some work … and I’ll take a nap during the day!

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04:30 and I’m feeling horny. But I’m not going to do anything – I’ve cum my last as a full male (see Two Last Times)!