The other day I said to my husband that it was really hard for me to share my excitement with him because he simply does not share any of it himself. Yesterday, he asked me to share it with him. I felt awkward at first, but it was really good to talk about what I was looking forward to. He sort of understood.

I began with getting there; travelling is always a little exciting (and anxiety provoking). I’m not looking forward to the coach, not to get up at 4am on Friday! I’ll have about 6 hours in the departure lounge at Heathrow, which will start off being fun, but will quickly get a bit tiresome.

I am looking forward to the flight. I am hoping for meals every 4 hours (I usually enjoy airplane food), watching a couple of films, and reading. Take off and landing always seem to be a thrill.

I’m anxious about US customs. I’m not sure why, possibly it’s because I have this idea that it’ll be the least welcoming experience of any country I’ve been to. I’ll just have to hope that the reality is better than my fears.

I’ll be landing in San Diego, then crossing the Mexican border into Tijuana. So that’ll actually be 2 countries.

I’m excited about the 2 free days I have before my operation. I hope to be able to explore in my own for a bit. I loved Mexican food, so some of that exploration will be culinary! I will definitely see the ocean and put my feet in the Pacific. I love the feel of the sea strong my feet and legs.

I’m excited to meet other people like me. I have chatted to several eunuchs and wannabes online. I have only actually had one voice conversation with a eunuch (he made an accidental bum-dial I think, but it was lovely to talk). To my knowledge, I have never met anybody like me.

I’m looking forward to the pre-op. I’m not sure why really; it could just be that I’m curious about what it’ll entail. It might just be the little bit of fuss while I have bloods taken, and I’m weighed, and so on.

I’m really excited about the operation. I think the anaesthetic is actually an epidural – that makes me nervous! That bloody long needle going into my spine! Although, when I spoke to the doctor on my voice consultation, he said that I’d be sedated. I don’t think I mind which it is really. There is something nice about being awake for the procedure – provided that it isn’t a local anaesthetic as I don’t find they work that well as you’re still aware of the tugging, which can be really uncomfortable. I also like the idea of going to sleep and then waking up transformed!

It’s weird (I think), but I am actually looking forward to the recovery. I am expecting some discomfort and maybe some pain. I have been warned that erections can get quite painful as they pull on the stitches. Ok, so I’ve not experienced any of that yet, but the idea of it feels exciting: this pain will mean something! It will mean that I have achieved what I set out to achieve.

I am going to take photos of my recovery, I want to always remember this because it’s just so significant.

I’m looking forward to making new friends and sharing this experience with the people I meet, and with people who are important to me.

I’m not so excited about the flight home, but I am already thinking about how life will be afterwards. I’m hoping that I’ll meet up with some of the people who have helped me on my way; I hope that these friendships are true and lasting.

I’m looking forward to my first orgasm after being castrated! I’m told they are different, that the climax feeling is at a different point, and the bodily sensations are different. I’m looking forward to making love for the first time afterwards.

I’m looking forward to strange things, such as the gym shower, or swimming in the sea!

I’m looking forward to being visible as who I am. I hope that my visibility will communicate with others like me.

I’m looking forward to seeing my husband again and us continuing our work on our relationship.

I’m excited that I’ll have a body that matches how I think and feel about myself.

By the end of the conversation with my husband, I was buzzing with excitement! I think life afterwards will be a whole new adventure!