Having had a heart attack I find that I’m much more sensitive (or paranoid) about anything going on in my body.

I was driving to Bristol to see my nephews, and I was already tired, so when I began to feel a tightness in my chest I am fighting the idea that I’m having another heart attack.

I suspect that what I was getting was anxiety… and anxiety feeds on anxiety! So the more anxious I became, the more anxious I became!

I had to focus on the road and try to distract myself.

I picked my dad up first and took him over to my brother’s place. He sat on the sofa looking uncomfortable for an hour before I took him home.

It is upsetting because our mum would have loved to have been a nan – she would have been a damned good one!

It’s hard not to think that our dad is wasting something important and to feel angry that he cannot do what would have come naturally to mum.

It’s not fair to compare them.

He was outside of his routine and comfort zone – and he was never any good with us when we were children, so how can we expect our hope that he’d be any good with his grandchildren?

He is what he is and we have to meet him there.

The rest of the day was fun, if exhausting! The boys played and giggled and fought and were a joy to be with.

At the end of the day, I realised that whatever I had been feeling had passed: definitely anxiety then!

I suspect the tension in my chest had more to do with the emotional weight of the day than with my heart.

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Several days later and I still have that feeling: my breathing feels shallow, my chest feels a little tighter, is that a pain? Am I anxious or having a long-running heart attack? Is there such a thing? I am told that such a thing is impossible.

Why can’t my body just tall me unambiguously “you are anxious: calm down” or “you have a heart problem – go to hospital!” – why all this noise that could mean anything!

I genuinely do not know what to do!